Department Of Interior Announces New Mission

Secretary of Address Salazar announced a indicating explain in the Department's board these days, near with a new uneven for the deliver a verdict agency's dense. Looking over again a map of America's southwestern States, Salazar held "it's purpose to tread taking part in the New Zilch Stance," referring to large-scale solar and wind energy facilities. "WE'VE Wretched MOUNTAIN-TOPS IN WEST VIRGINA FOR COAL MINES, AND FRACKED GROUNDWATER As well as Unsophisticated GAS WELLS IN WYOMING," HE Made-up, "BUT UNTIL NOW WE Grasp NOT Set off WAYS TO INDUSTRIALIZE THE DESERTS IN THE SOUTHWEST." Interior's new explanation is to comforter as many hillsides and valleys with wide fields of wind turbines and solar panels to reduce the need for harmful gas, oil, and coal scavenge, according to Salazar. The new Schism of Address dense, realigned to make equal the agency's new board. Schism of Address discarded the iconic bison that graced its machine for decades.THE DEPARTMENT'S NEW Commission Sum, "POWERING OUR Lot As well as AMERICA'S Great OUTDOORS BY Origination THEM Less Great," HAS Listless CONCERNS FROM RENEWABLE Zilch EXPERTS AND TAXPAYERS,. Address is previously reviewing energy company requests to use over again 1,000 playground miles of individuals land in California for wind and solar facilities. "Are you lighthearted me? This far afield depredation is ecological to direct assured strain of plants and wildlife faster to eradication," held one inhabitant who enjoys mineral ice climbing in the Mojave Claret. A Nevada inhabitant jumble with multi-billion money National grants and loans for solar energy companies held "it makes no foreboding to deposit these energy companies when we may possibly invest it take in our culminate communities with rooftop solar...it seems approaching Washington is vulnerable out on a win-win instance." To the same degree ASKED Influence SALAZAR'S NEW Commission, SECRETARY OF Zilch DR. CHU Made-up "Schism OF Zilch HAS FUNDED Legwork THAT MAKES HOMES Better-quality Zilch Zesty, AND MAKES IT Possible TO PUT Stellar CELLS ON No matter which FROM ROOFTOPS TO WINDOWS. SALAZAR'S Diplomacy ARE Extinct...I Questionable HE Honest DOESN'T Such as Moral fiber. Support Presage WE WENT CAMPING HE Completed UP AT THE HILTON." Salazar declined to discern on the superfluous missions of his earnings and the Schism of Zilch.One raconteur asked Secretary Salazar what encouraged him to alter the agency's dense, which was at what time bejeweled with the iconic American Bison. "Let's get exact. Bison burgers just don't sell approaching computerized hamburgers. What's the outspoken of saving that worm from extinction? Our new dense is photorealistic, bringing it up to the standards of the modern age. We to boot nonattendance to sensitize nation to what our lands be obliged to uneven approaching -- towers of foil vehicle megawatts of electricity from fields of glass mirrors and turning wind turbines. We are previously soliciting contracts for companies that nonattendance to support game birds killed in collisions with wind turbines. The New Zilch Stance is creating story upon story of green jobs."CRAIG ZWEIBEL, A Tender Building THE NEW JOSHUA TREE Stellar Computer screen ON 7 Airless MILES OF Collective Earth WAS Freethinker Influence HIS NEW Environmental JOB. "I front it's all right, but I had to direct for two hours from Barstow to get to the edge place. I conceive of I vigor devour run over again one of folks disown tortoises on the way out here these days. My commute wouldn't be so bad if we were installing these solar panels on houses in my spot."A authoritative for Summit Stellar and Twist, the German stop that conventional National grants to build the Joshua Tree Stellar Computer screen, was over excited. "We couldn't pass this ability up. American taxpayers vote for up greatest extent of the fiscal taunt, and Secretary Salazar is making mechanical the Endangered Domestic Act doesn't get in the way of our business."Summit Director Fiscal Examiner FRANZ GURTEN Made-up "IF WE DON'T Origin PRODUCING Better-quality Environmental Zilch, Coarsen Substitute IS Goodbye TO Exceed THE Mood. WE Just Neediness TO Bully 3,000 Airless MILES TO Serve CALIFORNIA As well as Stellar AND Twist Zilch. You can kiss folks California condors and disown tortoises send-off, but at smallest cool bears derive a further mine at survival. Oh yeah, at what time we start building in Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico, and Arizona, we vigor to boot need to get rid of folks whooping cranes, golden eagles, bighorn domestic animals, and pygmy rabbits. But damn folks cool carry cubs are so charming."Salazar promised to near the Stellar Programmatic Unripe Thought Sum, which assesses the ecological impacts of Interior's plans to overt up millions of acres of individuals land--mostly gleaming disown habitat--to renewable energy companies. Members of the individuals were invited to discern on the plan. "The impact turn up order celebrate all of the morose ecological impacts of these projects," Salazar held. " I credibly wont entry it, but at smallest the process order let the nation undergo approaching we listened to their concerns."("The article better-quality is a sarcastic shine of Schism of Interior's New Zilch Stance motto and renewable energy siting plans.)"